Mirror mirror on the wall: Am i still me without any?

Reflecting, Embracing and Living.

Just last night I had updated my status that I plead friends not to visit me until after a week. The world is so full of everything. its full of cars, energy and activity. Company is full of energy, be it negative or positive. work is full of laughter, envy and judgement. weekends full of fake hugs, compliments and dancing. The weekly routine seems monotonous.

just this  morning I get a call from one of my best friends. you see now he has achieved lots. from being a pioneer, a teacher, a youth developer and an inspiration. I at times think his purpose is to dream. He told me that he cries at night when he tucks in. I got worried. he is such a great soul to end a day like that. all I could tell him is to pray. I spoke about the power of prayer before and I can yet again with all confidence say that it works and changes things. it is very important for one to spend time with yourself and enjoy your own company not thinking or wishing but embracing and appreciating. I have prayers every Tuesday, my mini appointment with King Jesus. and those are just gratitude prayers. prayers where I thank Him for all. all the little things I have become oblivious too because I am at times to consumed with dreaming and running after my dreams forgetting to note what He had given me. Inner happiness..
one should learn that in this very very active life, influences are random. And one can get so toxic from it and it bloats one soul. one ends up saying: I just want to be alone...one doesn't end up alone..one ends up with Facebook on ya pillow or a bottle of wine. What is so unwinding in that. don't get me wrong I don't dispute that. its just when last did you look at that vase you bought and thought, wow this is cute? when last have you looked at those pictures in that frame and thought: wow, I was so young here? See, we don't see and embrace the lil things that once made us so happy
it is time to find oneself and really focus on embracing the finer things in life. Say hi, how are you? with a smile that is meant. be conscious about your existence and make sure that yes you move a soul and bring happiness(that makes one feel amazing) try doing things for people with no recognition on magazine front pages.
let us live, stay calm and move on.
Life is only over when you cant see that beautiful smile of yours no more.
[currently reading: LIVING MORE LIFE BY: DON MORTIMER)

MIRROR MIRROR: I CAN SEE CLEARER NOW.

AND SO I HAVE DISCOVERD!

I remember just last year when all my visits to my friends was talking about a change in my circumstances that I was  praying for. I would complain about how bad it is and that I really just wish to do something with my time because I am hate being unoccupied. I was in a place where I use to say: if only I could get a job, if only I could get this( I could go on and on) I also remember how I use to pour my heart out to many and that becoming an opportunity for some to gossip about the rage I was in. I remember a time when great friends became somehow people I could not trust. I learned that in that period of me miserable, many enjoyed seeing me that weak. I thank God that I am one person that is a fairly happy being and because of that I still remained positive and that had enabled me to just keep on believing. there were days when I really tough. I had prayed for better days. Friends came and they went. I had prayed for a job and happiness that comes with that. I remember that even though it was hard, I still managed to be so grateful. The world thought it was over but deep within I just knew it wasn't.


I got a job at the radio station and  I was happy, still am happy. I had realized that I always had to pay attention to what I pray for. we sometimes forget what we ask God to give us, because when we do get it we are still so blinded about what more we want. I have realized that all my friends that are not mine no more is out of my life because there was no more space for them. I have realized all those that still are part of my path is deserving of that position. I have realized that every single being who says Good morning to me acknowledges my presence and who ever wishes me good luck, I choose to believe that its meant with a good heart. I have made a choice to not believe in people telling me that I cant. Weird I have been told that so many times, yet Givado just never stopped being..
I had discovered that God seriously paid attention to what I needed.. I had it all, I wasn't ever hungry! I was free from depression and even though people spoke about me! I was happy!! I was with happy ladies all the time! I was filled! he groomed me!  and I am a hell of a happy faggot, who appreciates all!! I love King Jesus!

NEVER FORGET THAT LIFE AINT OVER UNTIL YOU DONT SEE THAT CUTE SMILE OF YOURS!!!