Bruce is Caitlyn now! Call me Phetogo.

Can anyone explain to me how they feel when they have been given a coat to wear in the cold when it’s not their size? Is comfort what you enjoy most because it’s the buffer against the cold has been provided? Is the discomfort so intense because of the wrong size? How do you measure the imbalance? Or is that not important because you wear this coat to protect you against the cold.

About a week ago I went out for a chill session with one of my ladies. And this is someone who takes great pride in expressing her roots and revisiting her cultures thought the most uncommon yet mattering mediums. I always find myself intimidated by her true sense of authenticity. Her being able to not just say: what makes her African, but the pride she carries in being a township African child. (being African has nothing to do with the shade of yours skin color) . Rhandzu is her name.

As an emerging fashion designer that wants to establish their own brand, it has been such a challenge to come up with something that signifies individuality, style and inspiration. These are three elements that strongly upholds the brand. I remember at some point in my live I had decided to call it Givado (Give-Ado..) which means to create a big fuss. I have been called Givado for many years and it stuck with me. It’s the coat that has been given to me to wear and I have become comfortable because its embraced. No one really knows how much I despise that name. I carries no essence. The sound of another pretty gay name that creeps me out., It carries overrated western/German elements. But it’s a name I’m known by. There is An African proverb that says “ A men should feel home with their own name only then will they confidently express their Identity”(Remember that I’m African I came up with that tacky line. hahaha) But that is how I feel when Im called Givado!

Then there is my birth name Gift, such a powerful name (for obvious reasons). I love the name but it’s not helping me in any way. Could it be because it’s English? People struggle to distinguish whether Gift is coloured or Black. Gift himself is in the process of finding his identity within Africa( a Setswana young men who cant speak a word of it).

Rhandzu and I taking a walk in Standford Valley

 My friend Rhandzu reminded me why the name Gift has no taboo in it, I love taboo, taboo is what all have and some fear to express. Gift is plain, becoming lame somehow. And I know I am not lame hahaha.

Wait a minute!!! I have been blessed with two very beautiful (so the Setwanas say),difficult to pronounce, trought-cleaning Setwana names. Phetogo, my second name(Change) and Kgakagamatso , my third name(Miraculous) . Why not Phetogo? My growth has been evident, both personally and in my career. More liberating things and activities has become important to me. I know I am repulsed listening to songs that requires

Cafe Majito in Cape Town after a long chat,dance and drinks.

me to bang my head like a rebellious American teen. I can’t stand all this new modern saves tendencies( African young people acting like tourist from MTV in South Africa). Oh well. My growth is really personal and it had disturbed for so many years that English and Afrikaans is all I speak, well and a little bit of Isixhosa(One has no choice but to learn that I Cape town).

I decided to make myself known as Phetogo. Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn right? (He is just my favourite fab lady now) Phetogo means change, change brings growth right? The birth of something new? Different? Individualistic and inspired but the journey of finding my true self and my authentic African identity?

Rhandzu blessed my clothing label with this name, my name Phetogo. I love it an am very excited to launch an online clothing page.

Will read his again someday Rhandzz and go ‘oh well,thanks “

The journey to finding inspiration for my range(final year assignment)

Attending a wine launch in Khayaitcha 2014. Love this picture, I look like the greater part og me:Bushmen

The journey to Konceit Kulcha.

Individuality described as the freedom to express who one is through various mediums. The way you dress, speak and express yourself are the badges to individuality. That why this has become imperative to dig deep to who I am to express that through fashion.

The dimension of fashion evolves every single season. This explains why the majority emerging designers lack so much authenticity in their work, and that is primarily because of the need to remain current and conventional. Convention and trend is what sells. It is just as important for me to design garments that are unique and pays loyalty to my individuality. The journey is quite intellectual and profound. I wish to avoid submitting to styles that are western or what we would describe as “modern”. I wish not to dispute the work of great designers.  I am not detected from following the creativity of our designers. And with saying that one can still the foundation of all garments from different designers is still born in America and London. A question will be. Can Africa claim its duty back to be the first of its kind? Knowledge? Undiluted culture?

I have a desire to illustrate that in my silhouettes, patterns, fabric, styles and designs of my first clothing range (final year exam). But how can I achieve that if I haven’t seven discovered much of who I truly am. I bushmen ancestral blood flows in my veins, I a child of the Setwana tribe (Morolong). My late great-grand father I was told was a white South African who was farming in Botswana in the 1940s. Im a disgusting breed I jokily say. The thought of white Afrikaner blood flowing through my veins. The feeling alone brings a nod to my thought. I have a direct connection with first humanity, home of Africa.

Being proudly African, I find myself in my own space arguing that line. Gift, you can barely speak any African language? You admire the sounds of  Beyonce compared to that of your homeland? It saddens me that I have o “true’ element of being truly African, but what is being true African then? How can I say that I wish to portray the idea of Africa in my range, when my identity has been challenged by so many of my African brothers and sisters?

It still hurts to see how we as Africans, particularly black Africans sill fight for African pride and exercising true African identity and knowledge. I wish to become free from my own stupidity and idiocy about my individuality. Our identity has become what the white men has taught us to see. Our individuality seeks for validation from “likes” and terms such as “hip, dope,swagg” . We lose so much of ourselves every day and we forget that we are still slaves. It contributes so much to the uncomforting feeling of being in my own skin.

I believe that passion leads to greatness. I wish to use the journey to find inspiration to my range as a journey of self-discovery “My African Identity”.

Conceit Kulcha (pronounced culture) is a bold way of being very proud of who you are, your culture and being aggressively conceited about your culture. I want to be that. I wish to advocate individuality and originality through my passion, yes! Trough fashion.

My journey to be inspired for my range started two day ago.!!

Everybody seeks recognition and validation,my hope is that I and my work is recognized for it being truly from me.”- givado

mirror mirror: When you realise its really just about doing your beat

Back to reality tommorow!
As a new semester unfolds,worries of how it will be this time around penetrates my mind. Fake hugs in the morning,snacks offered by everyone claiming to be civil but just wants to light a candle about it anyway.

Reality is,we have become so accustomed with referring to other people as haters. And that's bad,we tend to believe the worst of others and what they think off us! Validation from followers and likes. Constantly seeking to be admired for the tangible! Oblivious to our emptyness. We claim to call ourselves friends when we still call another and wish to share dirt on our friend. I myself is guilty of that! How go we expect people to see great in us when we are victim of our own toxic activity! We sit with just a device in the palm of our hands,log on to Facebook and kill the confidence of a soul! I have realized the new age "do good" is letting people know,how great really if its for personal publicity? Its cool to be frank,saying it like it is in the process killing the vibe of someone who whishes to sit on the thrown you own! I would excuse that thrown,cos maybe your rude and bitchyness stems from a very sad and insecure place. I recently advised a girl of mine on how to make her men appreciate her more,I realized its her duty to appreciate herself,see her worth,behave valuable and if his worthy,he would not fail to see that! Partners loose themselves consistently to wanting to be the best partner ever! How do you master that when your efforts are not even regarded?! Paleeeze! Just don't change for no one! But ensure that what ever you are is best for you and the fellow men! Am not saying live up to their expectations but make sure that you being you,ain't no trouble or ill to anyone!

we all wanna be happy ultimately,well some just wanna be famous! Oh yah not all famous people are happy! Then too are insecure
I applaud you for having a dream,let it scare you! Don't give up on it an work very hard!

It's true what they say,you can't expect to be a millionaire and have the work ethic of a minimum wage earners

#remember that life is only over when you don't see that beautiful smile of yours.

Follow me on twitter: TheGivado
Instagram: #fungivado
Facebook: Gift Kgosierileng

Mirror Mirror: How do i mend the cracks in my heart?

The 3 I was way to good enough for...

Gift in his made of figuring it out.

you cry at night and sip on a glass of wine hoping that you wont remember him,and inevitably,you do.
I fell in love with someone half my shoe size but gave him all of me.

I was hoping that meeting up with other guys would make me forget about that ass who stung me deep. I met up with a cute,humble and super confident hunk!!! still a favorite of mine. I remember believing that nope! he aint the one! well he was perfect at all he did.  He checked up on me every time. calls me endlessly! and calls me Nana( commonly a female name) which i hate! lol,well he makes it sounds so relevant! i guess i can say i really liked the candy. One person that makes me feel like I am his number one.

Question was,was i really over my ex? or was i way to in love and oblivious to the truth which i couldn't figure). I dint pay much attention to that. Just recently i got a call to showcase my first fashion range as a fashion design student at home (Upington). obviously very excited and started planning my trip. the very next day a favorite ex gave me a call telling me he wishes to visit me! This guy to me is special. He depicts perfection...yep! he is considerate,caring and a great fan of King Jesus. He kinda intimidates me just because he is so perfect. Wasn't s very difficult call to make..sure!! i wanna get over my ex,why not test the surface. I had invited him to visit!

I couldn't predict the future but his was the first time we had great chats,that lasted fr seconds and usually ends up in an argument! we argued liked cats and dogs and he started calling me selfish! selfishly so,i just protect my emotions and he treated me like Priska from Generations. he would flirt with other faggs in front of me,call me names and made me feel like an abandoned kitten.My bf then called me and said one powerful thing " Gift,you're crazy,dramatic,and super funny,but i wont want you to change for anyone,i like you perfectly the way you are" Flip!! couldn't believe that my pre-conceived of this ideal partner who treats me like crap(which i had allowed because people treat you the way you behave) this guy who i thought I am not good enough for. I had realized that Uncle perfect is a poor lil sad soul that goes around Africa,charms gay guys and makes them feel like their the only one that matters until he meets the next best thing,makes you feel like crap!! well,he actually is the sad one validating his insecurities and plays victim. He is prayed for indeed.

in the missed of it all i realized that I am not gonna allow my tears to win and allow my smile to take the crown because my newly found bf is amazingly great at making me happy!! i cant even remember how my ex sounds cos he really aint no factor! the recent ass is in my prayers. But im happy to call Siya my baby.Sad part is he called me the other day and told me that he has got piles!!! like really dude!! lol...still love him with all those kumbaya disorders :-)

We all have got seasons and yes,we brake hearts ,we love,we cry and our hearts get broken. There is no manual to a perfect relationship. Just be loyal and care,because when you care,you surely will ensure to not do any to hurt the other party. And yes,there is no way that the on who broke your heart could mend it. Its not another persons job to do so either. its honoring your emotions,cry,pray and hill. allow yourself space of self reflection,embracing the lesson and still firmly believe in love.

After a failed engagement,dated another half my shoe size who had cheated on me, met an amazing guy and thought an old ex could mend my broken heart and realized there after...we tend to believe we know what we want,in fact we don't,we do however know what we don't want,and i can confidently say,I don't want someone who does not see my worth,someone that makes me feel like their number two. I want my baby with piles,the one who calls me handsome,Nana,dramatic and super funny and adds" Do not change for anyone"

Do not run around looking for Mr Perfect, just be the best partner you could be possibly,one will know when your appreciated and that's when you don't complain about not being appreciated

Remember: Life is only over when you don't see that smile of yours :-)

follow me on twitter: @TheGivado

Facebook: Gift Phetogo Kgakgamatso Kgosierileng

Instagram: #funGivado

Mirror Mirror: Just when does ot get to much to look at?

Adversity always seems to make its way

It has been 6 months already sincec I had left radio presenting and decided to take a very unpopular decision to pursue a full time career in finishing my fashion qualfication
From a failled engagement that cultivated so much lessons,to finding new love again,giving it my all and being left heart broken.
From being gunpoint,mugged and robbed and still husshling my way to find accommodation
From leaving my amazing friends in Upington and having to make friends again,having to adjust to diffrent type of personalities at school and getting friends who believes everything is a race and a competition,from being miss understood and raped for ones kindness and not being apprecited for my effort, from my kindness and loyalty being taken for weakness and peo

ple cropping me into the picture they see I fit in,but ita nit even my shoe size! From injecting confidence and self believe into people ,let alone grant moral support and being spit out like a slime of annoying mucus! Capetown has been one hell of a ride!

I won't deny,I have also been blessed with people who appreciate my talent and reminds me of my worth. I have accumulated great friends over a bottle of wine at cute restuarant(not fit for student budget) ! I am slowly penetrating my mini brand as a fashion designer andI thank God for my spirit of self believe.

I have gathered through it all that Good things surely don't come easily,its hard at times but my greatest fear is that I don't become blind to the promise God has set for me. We are at times brought to situations where we feel at our worst and believe it couldn't be any worse,reality is,its really just a new beginning preparing us ,making us bold for future challenges! I greatful for all my struggles and am glad that not for asecond not a split second does this faggot think of giving up! Its just I did way to much,gave up way to much to surrender now! And yep! I have lost all! Why in Zimbabwe would I wanna give up when I have nothing to loose and if so,I would surely regret not being patient enough to hold on!

I geuss I owe myself this: Work extra hard! Stand extra firm! Believe extra more!

#life is only over when you don't see that cute smile of yours

Mirror: Let me remove the spark from my eyes.

Gift Kgosierileng looking in the lens of his phone.

Careful to believe what is said to you and about you!!

Ever had a friend telling you that you are pathetic, lazy, crazy, lame or boring,whatever. The thing is the very second you start believing in that you are actually coating yourself with that and it will eventually become but of your being. Stop allowing people who has always made believe that they are perfect or better than other make you believe what they about you is true.

 What people say about you doesn't make who you are, only you can construct who you are, only you can mold how people can treat you, only you can behave in a certain way to be respected or mocked. Only you can make the choice on how you will allow what is said about you to break you. It doesn’t mean when someone drives a better car then you, longer hair than yours, more stylish than you or more educated then you, that what they say about you is standard and law. Only you can say who you are and the greater above. Remember that there are many miserable people, insecure ones and like all of us, people with problems and it’s really cute for them to put you down, sadly and pathetically that is where they get their temporary smile from!!! It’s about time that you take charge of your moods and stop allowing people to be the moderator of your moods and behavior!! Stop allowing people to impose emotional responsibilities upon you that you can’t meet!! Stop people taking advantage of you when you think you are just being a good friend, yet you are not perceived like that!! Stop eating so much food when you constantly complain about being fat!!  Stop being depressed and analyse the circumstances of happy ones to see flaws in order to bring a smile to you!!! Stop fighting for attention, it is not always that attractive!! Stop talking so passionate at times, so self righteous, so all-knowingly and depriving you from listening!! Do remember that Eistein was known for listening and taking notes, and not mumbling and gaining weight.

Love yourself regardless!!

Live is only over until you don’t see that smile of yours!!

# Listening to Jessie J-Who You Are

Instargram: #fungivado

Twitter: TheGivado

Facebook: Gift Highly Favored Kgosierileng

Mirror Mirror on the wall: I look at me

The world is just that!!  A stage!!! And i made a choice to perform!!

When I reflect back at what I woke up too as a young boy I realise I woke up to a grandma who loved exercising and still rocked stilettos like it was meant for her!! I woke up to a granddad that loved me and would tell me tales tucking me to sleep!! I remember my late mamma listening and painting or reading me a bible story!!

Gift on the happiest

I’m left and I ges i need to leave a lagcy behind. One lives one only and you cannot let an abusive relationship, an incurable disease or a hater stops you from doing so!! I choose to not allow lemons to dictate how i gonna live my live! One sometimes need to live like there is no tomorrow but how can one do that if anything said about you nails you down? Isn’t it reality that people will always talk and they will seldom see the good but would have perfect vision for the worst! I call my lil sister fat all the time, and because of her confidence she doesn’t ALLOW Givado to nail her down like that!! Im exposed to constant comparison!! People constantly calling others whatever when the sad part is all of us just want to live and wake up with a smile!! If no one can guarantee us that, which is what i have learned...i made a conscious choice to associate myself whit those i can learn from, those who can contribute to my excellence, those who love to see me happy, those who believes when i can achieve they too can!!!

Life has no secret and tru,they didn’t lie when they told us about the law of attraction, don’t waste ya time by mocking or being jealous of them, use that same time and take tips!!

#Life aint over until u don’t see that beautiful smile of yours.

follow me on twitter @ The Givado

Instagram: fungivado

Facebook. Gift Highly Favored Kgosierileng