When I think of the scary second of losing my African identity....
I’m troubled to understand the cosmology of my ancestors, God
and His son Jesus. I am the great grandson of white men who ploughed grain form
the soil of Botswana. I am told that my parental Grandad is owambu whilst my daddy
takes great pride in living like a Damara. My grandma had blue eyes and was
white as the grand old white lady from the pharmacy. My mommy had immense love
for God and yet was the queen in the Omaheke Region as she coached many young
ones in the traditions of Setswana. I was called Morwa (Bushmen) by my late
aunty. I Was fostered by a great family who had their foot in all languages (IsiXhosa,Setswana,Sesotho,and
Sepedi. Mhepho was burnt and I loved the smell of it not understanding its
significance. My names are doing justice to ‘KE MORORLONG”(A CLAN IN SETWANA)
(PHETOGO{change} KGAKGAMATSO{miracle}[my other names] ).
One would think, damn I am an African! But how confused am I
really? I have been so diluted but society and the western like many? I sub the
song Stimela with Love on top by Beyoncé? I refer to umqomboti as African
yogurt as I love the taste for it and not the significance or the honor behind
it. How African am I really? My sexuality is what I exercise fully regardless
of the contradict highlighted by my ancestors. My mind has made me justify so
much of my being not realizing that I am the victim of still being slaves. My
mind is owned by the books and mold by the knowledge of the western. When last
have I asked why to an elder to understand more about my root? I Google most of
the time.
We are celebrating heritage month and what really am I
celebrating because I have been so moved by that of the western. What is my
heritage? I think it’s me. Gift and what I stand for and what the previous
generation imposed upon me,But who am I? What constitutes my knowledge? What s
the core of my soul and where am I from? Where is the blood flowing in my veins
from?
It’s sad to think of the possibility that everything we do
today (mcimbi’s, weddings, initiation) is moving away from how it used to be
done. Most practices have become an article or discipline of trade compared to
what it used to be. We are so coned with cream of the western and it is rare to
still see the authenticity in thee claiming to be African if abortion is in
order of all day, well I’m gay (who am I to say that?)
We should claim back our identity as beings, we should embrace the honor of first knowledge in mankind. its not a curse to be an African but a blessing. it starts with loving everyone because Africans live in unity. we need to kill the term Xenophobia. Lets love our fellow African brothers and sisters. Lets stop destroying our future will killing our younger brothers with a Western acid! Drugs. Lets move away from conning ourselves with a coat that's not ours!!! I am African, and I want to go back.
Catch me on Radio Riverside 98.2 fm or stream live on www.radioriverside.co.za from 15:00-16:00 CAT.
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